


And Then to Ash

by HiraethONefoedd



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt, Hurt but no comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M, Merlin death, Merlin dies, Sadness, This is probably cruel, but oh well, so much for a happy first fic, sorry - Freeform, this is my first fic, you dont have to watch any MCU stuff to get this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 02:22:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15939812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiraethONefoedd/pseuds/HiraethONefoedd
Summary: Arthur would later regret telling him to go.





	And Then to Ash

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 3am and it's 3:30am as I'm posting it... Sorry about the potentially AWFUL writing! It's also my first fic so... yeah. I was going to make it happy but no we're jumping right into the angst.
> 
> Update: Wow, I hate the writing style I used. I went back in and edited a bit of it, hope you don't mind.

 

   “Arthur,” Merlin said, “Arthur, it’s time to wake up now,” he shook Arthur awake. Groaning, Arthur sat up. Or at least attempted to. Despite him coming back from the dead, he wasn’t exactly in top shape. Avalon had healed him enough to get him functional, then flung him back out into the world. It didn’t care much whether he had pains from where his stab wound had been from time to time.

  
    Merlin spotted this, and quickly set down the tray he was carrying on the bedside table, going to help Arthur sit up.

  
    “Stop, stop-it’s alright-I’ve got it” Arthur lightly pushed him away. “Why do you have… that?” He gestured at the tray, “You do know that you aren’t my servant anymore, don’t you?”

  
     “Yeah, I get it,” Merlin shrugged, “but I don’t mind. At all. Really, it’s nice. It’s almost like…” He trailed off. Arthur sighed. He knew that waiting for him had nearly broken Merlin. When he had first returned, it had taken days for Merlin to accept that he was even real and finally let down the walls he had built up over a thousand and five hundred years. He knew that with Arthur back, Merlin could almost imagine being in Camelot again. Anything remotely like their time back then immediately brought back the memories. Of course, a lot had changed since then. Magic was accepted to some degree, with heroes who practiced it being famed and glorified everywhere.

  
     “Don’t you have work soon?” he asked, trying to change the subject.    Merlin glanced at his watch, “Yeah, but if you need me to stay I could take a day or two off-”  
    “Don’t be ridiculous, Merlin,” Arthur said, “go.” Merlin grinned, “I’ll see you later, then,” he leaned over, kissed Arthur on the cheek and walked out of the room, grabbing his jacket as he left.

  
    Arthur would later regret telling him to go. He should’ve kept Merlin with him. Kept him safe. 

 

* * *

 

     He was just trying to have lunch. That’s all. Just sitting on the damn couch, having lunch, scrolling through that one app Merlin had gotten for him-" _to help you catch up on modern day_ ", Merlin had said, as he pressed the download button-when the catastrophe began.

  
    “GUYS” one read, “DID ANYONE ELSE JUST SEE THE WEIRDEST SHIT HAPPEN?”

  
    Another, “WHAT THE FUCK? I WAS JUST WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND A DUDE JUST FUCKING DISSOLVED”

  
    Another, “Guys… I’m legitimately terrified, a helicopter just fell out of the sky on my street.”

  
    The next, “i’m so scared what the fuck is happening?!”

  
    Arthur’s blood ran cold in his veins. Whatever was happening… it was global. “Ash” and “dissolve” were on the trending topics page-which probably meant they were being talked about a lot (Merlin had never quite explained it to him, but from what he could gather that had to be the meaning).

  
     _Merlin_. A heavy feeling settled in his gut. Fear? Yes. It was fear. He rushed to open his phone app. His thumb was hovering over Merlin’s contact name when a loud alarm went off in the room, coming from the TV, startling him and causing the phone to fall right out of his hands, to the floor. He cursed, looking up at the tv as he bent to pick the damn thing up. The only word he caught was “EMERGENCY” before he rushed to pick the phone up, knowing something had to be happening right here. In England. The emergency alarm wouldn't be going off if that weren't true.

  
     He called Merlin once. No one answered. _Answer damn it, prove you’re alright._ He called twice. Still no answer. _Please._ Again. No answer. _That’s it._  
    Arthur grabbed his jacket, rushing downstairs, out of the apartment building. Merlin worked nearby-early on, when Merlin was first reintroducing him to life, Arthur had spent many days at the cafe with him. They even had their first official date there.

  
    In the street, he was met with chaos. No other way to describe it other than utter chaos. People were running, screaming, on their phones, trying anything to figure out what was going on. That wasn’t the strangest part of the scene though. Everywhere, there were just clumps of ash, dust, some flying through the air on the faint gust of wind. One man stopped in his tracks, collapsed, and to Arthur’s horror, began to crumble into ash.  
     Arthur practically ran the entire way to the little cafe where Merlin worked. The pain in his old, healed, wound flared up again, but he ignored it in favor of having to know if Merlin was alright or not.

  
    When he finally got there, a sense of relief flooded him when he saw Merlin standing there right outside, watching the events of the street unfold with a horrified expression. “Oh thank-” Arthur began. The feeling of relief left him almost as soon as it had come.

  
    Merlin, much like the man down the street, was fading before his eyes.

  
    “Merlin,” Arthur said, “Merlin, tell me this is a trick. Tell me this is some sort of cruel joke to get back at me for dying,” even as he said it, he knew it wasn’t. Merlin wouldn’t do that to him. But this couldn’t be happening. It just couldn't. “Merlin, please.”

  
   Merlin stumbled forward, falling into Arthur’s open arms. “Maybe… maybe this is what they meant by Albion’s hour of need. That you would return for it.” Merlin muttered in Arthur's ear, just loudly enough for Arthur to hear.. Then he said, louder, “Arthur... whatever this is-whatever happens-I’m glad I got to see you again. That you returned before this. I want you to know that.”

  
    Arthur held onto him, eyes closed. _Maybe if I hold on tight enough, he won’t be able to fall apart_ , he thought. So he clung.

    Until, to his horror, he felt his arms now wrapped around nothing. His arms which had just been wrapped around Merlin. It took a moment to process what this meant. He didn't want to.

  
    He pried his eyes open, and his fear was confirmed. A pile of ash on the pavement. Dust in the air. _No_. He fell to his knees, looking around for anywhere Merlin could possibly be. Maybe if he looked hard enough, he would see Merlin smiling his overly cheerful smile and he’d be able to hold him in his arms and they would be fine. They'd go home, Merlin would make dinner with Arthur attempting to help but failing like always. But no such luck.

  
    There was a sort of cruel irony to it. After all, Merlin had spent his entire time in Camelot trying to avoid being turned to ash on the pyre. He had avoided it. He should be safe from this fate. And yet, here Merlin was-or at least, here Merlin had been-nothing more than a pile of dust on the street, over a thousand years later without even a fire to explain _why_ this was happening. There hadn't even been the warning of execution drums.

  
    _Wasn't Merlin supposed to be immortal?_ Nothing could kill him before. He wasn't supposed to be able to die. He had lived over a thousand years without Arthur. He couldn't have died _now_. Not just as Arthur was returning.

    And yet he had.

  
    Arthur lowered his head and let the tears fall, pressing a hand to the pavement, right next to the ash that had been Merlin.


End file.
